Excuse me Dr, can you prescrible something for this?

Thursday was a full day. First, I had to go to the school to drop off some paper work. Then, off to Target to get Assets and Lego's (both necessities) and finally, to my dr's appt. Of course bringing the boys with me everywhere I went. By the time we got to the dr's office the boys were very restless. I told them to sit down and be quiet while I saw the dr. Liam kept putting his foot on the floor saying "I'm still sitting" his way of testing me as usual. Sammy sat . head down butt up The dr looked like she really appreciated having his rearend in her face. Hoping they would be quiet enough that I could get in my 10 min appt and head home fast. I realized I was asking for too much. Sammy wiggled his butt the entire time while re-enacting star wars with the exception of dropping a toy and going under the dr's legs to get it almost tripping her and Liam tried to help her type, almost knocked over everything on the counter and was caught right before he pulled down one of the posters. I have a feeling the dr wrote herself a rx after our visit.

One leg at a time son and honey!

Having a child with autism I rarely don't know what to expect from him. For example I know when he gets himself dressed he will put on pants or shorts with both legs in one leg hole, and then comes out saying its too tight. EVERY TIME. I wondered how this happens there are two legs and two holes it seems pretty easy. Then, my husband fell trying to put on his pants the other day and I got my explanation.

A little about me

I wanted anyone who reads this to understand who I am. I posted the pic of myself and my husband because I wanted you to know who I use to be. Look closely at that naive girl. She is looking at that man with such love thinking " I want to have lots and lots of babies with you". And she did. Even tho we only have 2 kids it seems like a whole lot more.

After having Sammy this girl was very tired but still carried that look in her eyes. After Liam she was exhausted, had oily hair, gained weight, and thought that guy is an A**. Now she knows he is an aspie (endearing term for aspergers). So, now that I am no longer a naive girl but a full grown woman who has a Hubby with aspergers, a son with autism, and a stubborn 3 year old. I have a different look in my eyes. Its the look of "who's poop is under my fingernails"? Liam is still in diapers after refusing all methods of potty training, Sammy has been potty trained for 2 years but can't adjust to the change of wiping himself, and Josh has IBS. So my life is full of poop. I'm still exhausted but now I'm on Weight Watchers so I'm hoping to be a thinner tired person soon. And sarcasm is what makes me gets through each day. To those who don't like it find another blog to read. This is my life and this is how I deal with it.

Gifts

Dear Aunt Garlyn sent the boys a gift this weekend. Sammy received a blue Mario shirt. Since blue is his favorite color and pretty much the only color he will wear it was the perfect gift. Liam got a Buzz Lightyear shirt. Also the perfect gift since he loves Buzz. Sammy having a heart of gold sincerely appreciated it and was more than willing to tell Aunt Garlyn thanks through a e card and over the phone. Liam having a stone cold heart said "I can't say thanks but, I like the shirt". And again over the phone refused to say thanks. He later told me he doesn't know how to say those words. Which of course isn't true but very typical of Liam.

Spelling

I want to clarify that I do know how to spell well, mostly. I had little fingers helping me type and I didn't do the spell check before posting. So riccochet, two, and fingernails were misspelled.

Results

Ok so after our conversation I looked up some things and thought the
results were funny.
First, this is what a typical 3 yr old should be like:3 YEARS: A three-year-old can follow simple
directions such as, “time to take a bath,” "tell him your name.” She can
also put an object in, under, or on top of a table when asked. She can also
answer simple questions about objects such as “which one is bigger?” By age
three a child understands approximately 900 words and speaks 200 words clearly.
So I asked Liam a couple of questions about who was he bigger or smaller
than and he answered all of them correctly, but his response was "bubba is
booger than me" and "baby Jasmine is faller than me"

Now on to Sammy. Here is what a typical 5 yr should be like:5 YEARS: A
child this age can follow 3 related directions such as "get your crayons, make a
picture and give it to the baby". Most letters are pronounced accurately except
perhaps for L, R, S, K, TH,
CH, SH, TH. A five-year-old can
describe objects and events and can tell you the meaning of words. A
five-year-old typically understands 2500-2800 words, speaks in 5-8 word
sentences, uses 1500-2000 words and tells long stories accurately
I asked him to get his crayons and draw a picture. After removing his shirt
from his mouth he jumped up asked "what did you say" I repeated it and he sat
down and said "I can't walk and I don't know where that stuff is". Then he went
on to tell me a very long story about his dream.
So now all we can hope for is that the little bus can pick them up at the
same time.

How I got the name for the blog

I wish I could say I have never looked down to see one of my son's poop under my fingernails but, actually thats not even the worse place I have found their poop on me or one of my belongings.

I have to boys Sammy 5 and Liam 3. And since having them I have had poop ricoquet off the wall to hit my face, picked of a diaper to be thrown in my hair, smeared on my ivory furniture, come into the living room to find someone practice writing with it, I've had all my tupperware filled with it. seen it eaten, had it come so close to my mouth I almost ate it, had it on my clothes only to be noticed by the person I was talking to, and last but not least stepped in it numerous times.

I realize some people may not believe this and to those I say "nice to meet you my name is Kristi and I've had poop under my fingermails".

I deal with this "ideal" life by laughing and I hope you will too. On top of all the litteral poop I have some figurative poop to deal with. Sammy has autism and Liam is one of the most stubborn people in the world. Of course I love them deeply but, this life we have is bumpy and poopy.

So now that I've told you a little about my life here is an example of our day. One of my sisters recently suggested I look into getting Liam speech therapy so I googled some info. I first want to say that I have to laugh instead of crying so none of this is meant to be offensive to anyone who has autism or loves someone with it. Here's the results of my research: